Hello again after eons! I know for a fact two things now coming to the end of 2023 and moving into the year I’ll turn 30. 1. This blog will be alive as long as I live 2. I want to record every memory I possibly can, before I forget them all. It’s funny to write into the internet multiverse like this but you know there is something cathartic about it. Next year I’m turning 30 and it’s honestly crazy to see how time has flew! Speaking with many friends, some of us find it dreadful, and some of us find it promising. I’d like to be on the hopeful side, I genuinely hope everyone can come to terms and embrace age. It’s only going to get better and our experiences and how we view the world could only get richer. (Provided we stay open of course) It’s so odd to see friends one by one getting married and being pregnant and welcoming their offspring into the world, and it’s odder to think I’m there too. Today I started writing an autobiography after abrup...
Haha who knows, I might just be able to keep up with the editions this year. I am somewhat on a mission to journal more often and give visible language to the things that go on in my head. I have this silent (ok not so silent) fear that one day I'll simply forget all my memories. Maybe that's my one fear all along. I don't fear death, in fact I look forward to the day I get to go to heaven and be with the Lord 24/7. Maybe my fear is losing myself, not remembering my story, my journey. It's so encouraging to know that every post in here matters and will continue to matter to me in the future. It's often times just crazy how the years pass and before I know it, what would've once been an insurmountable task, becomes pretty doable. In 2013, I was happy about doing well in Calculus. I would've never imagined actually working as an engineer in 2017. In the grand scheme of things, 4 years doesn't seem like a long time. And to give credit where it's due,...
*wrote this at my office desk, a day before my Dad's birthday. 3rd March 2020. Feelings of missing a person often come in waves and feel a lot like a hot flush from alcohol. You either take sips and pace yourself out; little occurrences reminding you now and then about the people you miss, the people you hide in your heart. "How's your mom and dad?", "Name me a figure you respect the most", "Why do you like Mercedes Benz cars?", "Did you just start loving flowers?". "Oh look! It's a Peanuts calender!" Or, you gulp in the sweet, barely bitter taste of a home-concocted drink and all of a sudden your cheeks radiate heat. "Tomorrow's my dad's birthday." It's been 6 birthdays that I've missed spending together. "Do you miss home sometimes?". "Do you prefer living in the States?". "Would you want to build a life here?" If you let the feelings linger, they start to s...
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