First Love

When I think about the topic mentioned above, all the bittersweet feelings and memories flood back. Well, people usually get all mushy talking about this, whether or not the outcome was good. I mean, isn't it something learning to love another person for the first time, someone who isn't blood-related? Someone who could be a complete stranger, as far as blood lines go? 

For some incomprehensible reason, I just felt like writing about this. Probably because I never really addressed this matter personally in black and white.

Maybe for most people, their first love came in the form of a girlfriend or boyfriend. Well, mine came in the form of a best friend. Yes, my first love could be all the more memorable. Memorable, I would say in the way that it taught me painful lessons. Painful but meaningful lessons.

I guess I have said this many times, but love is really loving the person even if he/she doesn't love you the same way. Which basically goes to say, that love doesn't depend on the other person's feelings. I guess it can be interpreted in a fierce need to protect that person, the desire for the best for that person despite the consequences to you yourself (something like Katniss Everdeen perhaps ;p).  In a way it is laying down your life, (something like what Christ did, though we can't possibly match the extent of His love) laying down your desires. Putting that person first.

In my case, I had to lay down my want for that person and let him live his life the way he chose to. I still wanted the best for that person even though it hurt me that he chose and wanted someone else. 

I once wrote this - Love is standing by your friend even if he or she has hurt you countless times. I realized this when I was sixteen and I'm glad God taught me that early enough. 

Of course, first loves will always be the unforgettable ones. Haha, somehow, others seem to pale in comparison to them. I'm yet to find someone as good as him. Ah, I know I know, God will bring the right one. Even if it means having to wait. If you think about it, one of the great lessons God tries to teach us constantly is that of trust and patience. 

Oh well. 

Maybe those lessons that I learnt were painful. Nevertheless I'm grateful that I still have that person as a pretty good friend even now. 

Alas, my heart has resigned to the fact that I may never be with you, BUT, I know I'll always be there for you. Yeah, you. ;)