Blessings Will Outweigh The Bummers
It's a little bit of a bummer the fact that I only seem to blog when I feel down. Haha what to do, no outlet but here.
Well before I go all emo nemo, I really want to thank the Lord for his countless blessings this month.
Deep down I know that once I recall the blessings, they will cast the 'bummers' into the background.
Probably that's my unconscious aim all along :p.
First of all, I wanna give all the glory to God for blessing me with good results so far. It's been much a surprise to me as I never really expected to do well in Calculus at all. Haha abit of a pessimist aren't I?
But yeah, God has proven me wrong this time, and I can only thank Him and be grateful. Same goes to the other subjects. On hindsight, I've definitely been more focused and interested in studying this semester. I know it's because I've solved certain heart issues, and I'd like to keep things this way. Ain't no moments of weakness gonna stumble me!
Oh and as mentioned earlier, I did my TOEFL and the results I got were equally surprising, in a good way. Thank You Lord! This was really miraculous in way, since I was feeling quite sick on the test day, and all I thought of was finishing the test as quickly as possible. Amazing.
Secondly, I'm so grateful to have been given the opportunity to perform at Merdekarya by Christian. Totally an unexpected blessing. It was a great experience! Maybe I don't show it when people ask me how'd it go, but I was really happy and thankful for the lovely crowd. Sure I only performed 3 songs but the exhilaration of performing in that kind of intimate setting was just wonderful. haha and of course, I loved the hipster-ness of it all. But I guess the one thing that made me so happy was the fact that my brother came to watch me :). Seems like nothing to normal people, but it meant the world to me to have him there, and to hear his comments. Yes, my friends coming all the way to support me was indeed heartwarming as well :D
Overall, people kept telling me stuff that after the event ended and I was sitting at home comfortably, I found myself doubting the decisions I had made. I rejected an invitation to play an hour-long set of my own there at Merdekarya. Yeah I wondered if I was being stupid, turning down an invitation like that.
But deep down I knew my hands were already full with WMHD and the pile of assignments. After some deliberation, I knew I had made the right decision. At the end of the day, I know music will never be too far from me. To me, it would just take a few days or so to get back in the scene, with some effort. Music is very much a second nature, something I guess I don't need to think too much about. But with studies, one wrong move and you're done for. I know that too well. I guess my goal is to finish this academic year strongly. And I will, with God's help. :)
Well before I go all emo nemo, I really want to thank the Lord for his countless blessings this month.
Deep down I know that once I recall the blessings, they will cast the 'bummers' into the background.
Probably that's my unconscious aim all along :p.
First of all, I wanna give all the glory to God for blessing me with good results so far. It's been much a surprise to me as I never really expected to do well in Calculus at all. Haha abit of a pessimist aren't I?
But yeah, God has proven me wrong this time, and I can only thank Him and be grateful. Same goes to the other subjects. On hindsight, I've definitely been more focused and interested in studying this semester. I know it's because I've solved certain heart issues, and I'd like to keep things this way. Ain't no moments of weakness gonna stumble me!
Oh and as mentioned earlier, I did my TOEFL and the results I got were equally surprising, in a good way. Thank You Lord! This was really miraculous in way, since I was feeling quite sick on the test day, and all I thought of was finishing the test as quickly as possible. Amazing.
Secondly, I'm so grateful to have been given the opportunity to perform at Merdekarya by Christian. Totally an unexpected blessing. It was a great experience! Maybe I don't show it when people ask me how'd it go, but I was really happy and thankful for the lovely crowd. Sure I only performed 3 songs but the exhilaration of performing in that kind of intimate setting was just wonderful. haha and of course, I loved the hipster-ness of it all. But I guess the one thing that made me so happy was the fact that my brother came to watch me :). Seems like nothing to normal people, but it meant the world to me to have him there, and to hear his comments. Yes, my friends coming all the way to support me was indeed heartwarming as well :D
Overall, people kept telling me stuff that after the event ended and I was sitting at home comfortably, I found myself doubting the decisions I had made. I rejected an invitation to play an hour-long set of my own there at Merdekarya. Yeah I wondered if I was being stupid, turning down an invitation like that.
But deep down I knew my hands were already full with WMHD and the pile of assignments. After some deliberation, I knew I had made the right decision. At the end of the day, I know music will never be too far from me. To me, it would just take a few days or so to get back in the scene, with some effort. Music is very much a second nature, something I guess I don't need to think too much about. But with studies, one wrong move and you're done for. I know that too well. I guess my goal is to finish this academic year strongly. And I will, with God's help. :)
haha after writing all these, the urge to rant or be emo is pretty much gone.
see what writing does for you?
wonders, I say.
****
I'm trying to stay away as far as possible, mentally. I guard my actions and thoughts.
Cause I know letting my guard down will only result in heartache again.
Jealousy is pointless. Does no one any good.
haha, I have one thing to say though. I'll let you into my world, the real me, flaws and all.
Just cause I know this is it, and there won't be a future.
xx
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