josiechay's

Separation For total abandonment Sadness For reality. Being yearned for And yearning another Did it always have to end badly? Was there ever mutual happiness? We tell each other Dream lovely things Think happy thoughts. In the end it doesn't work does it? We revisit Memories We take a walk in Square One We replay the hurts We can't bear the thought of forgetting. So where does it all lead? When does it all end? How many sleepless nights will pass? How many personal pity parties will we attend?  Meaningless, she sighed Hopeless, he complained What is my life, she questioned Such deep pain, he whispered.  Some questions were never meant to be answered. Some feelings were never meant to be reciprocated. That's the sad reality Nothing can be done to change it. 

Hello, tell me you know, yeah, you've figured me out Something gave it away And it would be such a beautiful moment to see the look on your face To know that I know that you know now And baby that's a case of my wishful thinking You know nothing 'Cause you and I, why we go carrying on for hours on end We get along much better than you and your boyfriend Well, all I really want to do is to love you A kind much closer than friends use But I still can't say it after all we've been through And all I really want from you is to feel me As the feeling inside keeps building And I will find a way to you if it kills me, if it kills me Well, how long can I go on like this, wishing to kiss you Before I rightly explode And this double life I lead isn't healthy for me in fact it makes me nervous If I get caught I could be risking it all Well, baby there's a lot that I miss in case I'm wrong All I really want to do is love you A kind much closer than friends use But I ...

Well sometimes the sun shines on Other people's houses and not mine Some days the clouds paint the sky all grey And it takes away my summertime Somehow the sun keeps shining upon you While I struggle to get mine A little light never hurt nobody Send out your ray of sunshine Jason Mraz *** Indeed, there are people in the world who are happy because you first chose to be happy. So stay strong, and choose to send out your little ray of sunshine. You may never know whose lives you have touched, who appreciates you for being kind.

So once again after like several months, I'm here updating this blog. Well I'm coming here, because I just feel like letting out my thoughts. :) First of all, I'm so very grateful to the Lord for taking me through 2012, helping me survive, and showing me time and again what really matters in life. To be utterly honest, 2012 was an emotionally volatile year. My feelings ranged from sky high to abyss-deep low. And that's really because they're feelings. Feelings change, feelings cannot be depended on. But how? Well, I really thank God that He's the only constant in my ever changing year. I guess I do feel guilty that He had to send so many people, so many occasions my way. Just to spur me on. Just to keep me going. That was how weak I was. God kept reassuring me of His love. Ah well, I guess the only thing I did right was to cry out to Him alone and not seek out other things. And all that time I kept reminding myself, there must be something I'm doing r...

So today I attended a rehearsal for an upcoming instrumental concert organised by my (used-to-be) violin teacher. And from this rehearsal I realised several things in particular. There will always be people who appear to be showered with numerous talents, and there will be those doing what they can, getting by with what gifts they have. There will always be someone better than you cause that's just how it is. And of course the reverse is true. You will always be better than someone at something. Today I learned that if one wishes for oneself to be seemingly the best , you will never be satisfied, and that's the truth. Haha, just like today, if I choose to wallow in the fact that my best can still be less than someone else's normal standards, I'll be doomed for life. Locked up in my own self-built dungeon, never seeing the light of happiness and contentment. So, I have come to the realisation today. I'll just do what I do best and do it well . M...

When I think about the topic mentioned above, all the bittersweet feelings and memories flood back. Well, people usually get all mushy talking about this, whether or not the outcome was good. I mean, isn't it something learning to love another person for the first time, someone who isn't blood-related? Someone who could be a complete stranger, as far as blood lines go?  For some incomprehensible reason, I just felt like writing about this. Probably because I never really addressed this matter personally in black and white. Maybe for most people, their first love came in the form of a girlfriend or boyfriend. Well, mine came in the form of a best friend. Yes, my first love could be all the more memorable. Memorable, I would say in the way that it taught me painful lessons. Painful but meaningful lessons. I guess I have said this many times, but  love is really loving the person even if he/she doesn't love you the same way .  Which basically goes to say, that ...

A very important reminder to myself: Jesus says- "Judge not, that ye be not judged"; if you do judge, it will be measured to you exactly as you have judged. Who of us would dare to stand before God ans say- "My God, judge me as I have judged my fellow men"? We have judged our fellow men as sinners; if God should judge us like that we would be in hell. God judges us through the marvellous Atonement of Jesus Christ. -Oswald Chambers You can feel superior. Just point out the inferior. Eventually you will have yours pointed out by the true Superior.