josiechay's

I kinda forget sometimes to give thanks for life in general, especially if it's this blog. Well, I just want to thank the Lord for his great blessings this year. I've never felt so on top of a semester before. I mean, the year is drawing to a close and I can safely say that the last quarter of the year has been the best. I've never felt so at ease really. Lol, at times I wonder why I feel so peaceful. No regrets whatsoever. And with reference to the issue that I've been talking about, yeah its not crystal clear yet, but hey, I feel much better emotionally. I guess I've come to accept certain things. Or maybe, its just me growing up. haha. This last quarter of the year, I've been thinking a lot about my future and the roads ahead of me. I just know, something big's coming, but at the same time, I am aware I have to be more diligent in actually bringing to life certain dreams. And wherever the Lord leads, I hope I'll be attentive to the instruc...

I sat and I thought about it all All I saw in front of me was a wall A wall of guilt and bitter memories A wall of my feelings in fragile pieces The more I thought The more I realised what a fool I was To have been bound for so long Captive to personal raging wars The more I thought The more I realised what I should do Tear these walls down Let this frustration drown xx Took this picture and wanted to come up with a suitable instagram-friendly caption.  Got a friend helping in the brainstorming process as well. Eventually, this poem didn't make the cut but here it is :)

Can someone die of a broken heart?  **** It's a cold cold night, with nothing to keep me warm. Not even the warmest of blankets can help me now.  I know it so well. It's so blatantly evident.(double reinforcers)  You will always hold those memories of her.  And I will always be the spare tyre. **** On a lighter note, it truly is a cold night. Brrrrrr

It's a little bit of a bummer the fact that I only seem to blog when I feel down. Haha what to do, no outlet but here. Well before I go all emo nemo, I really want to thank the Lord for his countless blessings this month. Deep down I know that once I recall the blessings, they will cast the 'bummers' into the background.  Probably that's my unconscious aim all along :p. First of all, I wanna give all the glory to God for blessing me with good results so far. It's been much a surprise to me as I never really expected to do well in Calculus at all. Haha abit of a pessimist aren't I? But yeah, God has proven me wrong this time, and I can only thank Him and be grateful. Same goes to the other subjects. On hindsight, I've definitely been more focused and interested in studying this semester. I know it's because I've solved certain heart issues, and I'd like to keep things this way. Ain't no moments of weakness gonna stumble me! Oh and a...

So I'm currently on a fast from social media this week. 2nd day into it and I'm already feeling abit out of place. I find it funny how the absence of oneself from this social media platforms can make you feel so incompetent socially in reality. Weird but true. It has become a habit to tap on the apps in my phone whenever I see a notification pop up, or a number on the screen cap. Also, the urge to 'share with the world' one's happenings or thoughts. So tempted to post an edited picture or tweet a random thought. It's crazy the way I see it. This was how addicted I was to social media. A bit like a fish out of water is what I feel currently. But I will survive! What I need to do now is to make use of my time to complete that psych assignment. Don't know why I'm procrastinating so much. Oh and I need to stop returning to my old reminiscing ways. It's killing me.

Spending the late night reading some old convos. "Later your good friend chase after you ;p" Did not happen, but it's all good. :) Your words were sweet like candy.

First off, I'd like to start with how remarkably satisfying dinner was tonight. I went out with the fam to Tony Roma's and I have never felt so happy about a meal LOL. The ribs were so soft and tender, the Ranch-style beans so wonderfully flavourful and the mash potatoes so creamy XD haha okay, this shows how happy I was. Didn't even get the chance to snap a picture, everything kena sapu. Anyway back to the title of the post. So on the car ride home, I began to think about America and the future. For the first time since I signed up for ADP, I felt a little scared about going to the big U alone. Since I'm such a sentimental person, I wondered if I would be able to let go and try to make some good friends there. Haha, who am I kidding, I've always been able to make friends easily, it was only a matter of whether I felt at home in the friendship or not. I thought about staying alone in a room, doing so many things by myself. The thought of possibly cooking. Ok ma...