josiechay's

So today I attended a rehearsal for an upcoming instrumental concert organised by my (used-to-be) violin teacher. And from this rehearsal I realised several things in particular. There will always be people who appear to be showered with numerous talents, and there will be those doing what they can, getting by with what gifts they have. There will always be someone better than you cause that's just how it is. And of course the reverse is true. You will always be better than someone at something. Today I learned that if one wishes for oneself to be seemingly the best , you will never be satisfied, and that's the truth. Haha, just like today, if I choose to wallow in the fact that my best can still be less than someone else's normal standards, I'll be doomed for life. Locked up in my own self-built dungeon, never seeing the light of happiness and contentment. So, I have come to the realisation today. I'll just do what I do best and do it well . M...

When I think about the topic mentioned above, all the bittersweet feelings and memories flood back. Well, people usually get all mushy talking about this, whether or not the outcome was good. I mean, isn't it something learning to love another person for the first time, someone who isn't blood-related? Someone who could be a complete stranger, as far as blood lines go?  For some incomprehensible reason, I just felt like writing about this. Probably because I never really addressed this matter personally in black and white. Maybe for most people, their first love came in the form of a girlfriend or boyfriend. Well, mine came in the form of a best friend. Yes, my first love could be all the more memorable. Memorable, I would say in the way that it taught me painful lessons. Painful but meaningful lessons. I guess I have said this many times, but  love is really loving the person even if he/she doesn't love you the same way .  Which basically goes to say, that ...

A very important reminder to myself: Jesus says- "Judge not, that ye be not judged"; if you do judge, it will be measured to you exactly as you have judged. Who of us would dare to stand before God ans say- "My God, judge me as I have judged my fellow men"? We have judged our fellow men as sinners; if God should judge us like that we would be in hell. God judges us through the marvellous Atonement of Jesus Christ. -Oswald Chambers You can feel superior. Just point out the inferior. Eventually you will have yours pointed out by the true Superior.

Foreword This poem was created in the span of about 10-15 minutes. A product of my imaginations and possibly, self-discovered truths. Bitter, Forgotten. I have decided to forget you Forget your existence Forget the careless things you did Never thinking of the false hope they once ignited. I have decided to forget you Forget your words so loosely uttered. Your constant self-praises I played along, but they left me disgusted. I have decided to forget you Forget how you occupied a room in my heart Forget how you so easily entered and left Forget how you claimed my thoughts in part. I have decided to forget you Forget the way you made me feel Forget the short-termed happiness you incited The aftertaste still haplessly bitter, just like bitter chocolate. Fear not, your place was once very important  That I do not doubt. Now, it is but forgotten There’s nothing you can do about it This time, I’m out.

who knew the longkang looked so interesting? @HCC, Even Land the previous two nights were rather bothersome at the beginning. Yes, I'm talking bout' my sleep. I just couldn't sleep, especially Thursday night, in which I didn't really sleep at all.  Yesterday, praise be to God, I could sleep after an hour or two and was given the luxury to sleep in this morning. I suppose what I'm trying to say, is the reason behind the tossing and turning. I have been thinking so much about things. Thinking to the point that those thoughts run like they're on tape recorder even if I'm trying to sleep. Closing my eyes don't help, they make images more vivid. But last night, indeed I felt so much better after praying for other people. As I prayed for the peace of others, I guess I felt the peace too :) *** Christchurch;NZ On a different note, today was really the time for me to practice what I learned in the devotion from previous days. Today I ser...

{pictures courtesy of Flickr} "Love is handing your heart to someone and taking the risk that they will hand it back because they don't want it. That's why it's such a crushing ache on the inside. We gave away a part of ourselves and it wasn't wanted. Love is a giving away of power. When we love, we give the other person the power in the relationship. They can do what they choose. They can do what they like with our love. They can reject it, they can accept it, they can step toward us in gratitude and appreciation. Love is a giving away. When we love, we put ourselves out there, we expose ourselves, we allow ourselves to be vulnerable. Love is giving up control. It's surrendering the desire to control the other person.The two -love and controlling power over the other person-are mutually exclusive. If we are serious about loving someone, we have to surrender all of the desires within us to manipulate the relationship. " -Rob Bell Loving is a...

This morning I woke up with an odd pang of rejection. And then I remembered. That's exactly how the Devil would want me to feel. Rejected, hopeless, unable to move on, unable to achieve what God wants me to achieve. That's why I don't want to give in. I refuse to. 'Cause it's hindering my progress with God. And this fact is inevitable, God has better plans. Plans that are just not our plans. Plans that we might just not understand. so yeah, I'm staying strong, and so should you. Trust Him, He definitely never fails. ;)

"You can't be connected with God until you're at peace with who you are. If you're still upset that God gave you this body or this life or this family or these circumstances, you will never be able to connect with God in a healthy, thriving, sustainable sort of way. You'll be at odds with your maker. And if you can't come to terms with who you are and the life you've been given, you'll never be able to accept others and how they were made and the lives they've been given. And until you're at peace with God and those around you, you will continue to struggle with your role on the planet, your part to play in the ongoing creation of the universe. You will continue to struggle and resist and fail to connect. " - Rob Bell , on exploring the endless connections between sexuality and spirituality.

heheh, i'm back. And I'm planning on keeping this blog around. Hopefully I update regularly now. Anyways, just a post-hiatus poem for you. ;) Coming to like a person can be a beautiful thing We might forget life as we know it Concentrating solely on the person's everything. It might seem unhealthy It might seem foolish But the feelings may be difficult to control Difficult to dismiss. That's why wisdom from God is essential To discern the valid and invalid reasons To take the proper steps And to take care not to be misguided. Yet, one often feels disappointed When rejection presents itself twice When things just don't work out And unanswered, goes the heart's cries But take heart my fellow friend For God has his will and plans 'He knows what's best for us', A phrase commonly uttered But indeed how true it is, For it is, after all, the God who formed the heavens and the Earth. In memory of the blues. ;)