josiechay's

Spending the late night reading some old convos. "Later your good friend chase after you ;p" Did not happen, but it's all good. :) Your words were sweet like candy.

First off, I'd like to start with how remarkably satisfying dinner was tonight. I went out with the fam to Tony Roma's and I have never felt so happy about a meal LOL. The ribs were so soft and tender, the Ranch-style beans so wonderfully flavourful and the mash potatoes so creamy XD haha okay, this shows how happy I was. Didn't even get the chance to snap a picture, everything kena sapu. Anyway back to the title of the post. So on the car ride home, I began to think about America and the future. For the first time since I signed up for ADP, I felt a little scared about going to the big U alone. Since I'm such a sentimental person, I wondered if I would be able to let go and try to make some good friends there. Haha, who am I kidding, I've always been able to make friends easily, it was only a matter of whether I felt at home in the friendship or not. I thought about staying alone in a room, doing so many things by myself. The thought of possibly cooking. Ok ma

Sometimes, all you need to do is take that step. Make that leap of spontaneity. Let you creativity lead you. There are so many things I'd like to do creatively which I've not really started on. Here's what I hope to do. 1. Paint. Like with watercolours. 2. Finish the songs I've left half done. 3. Bust out my violin and do some practicing. 4. Learn to play more songs on the piano and guitar. 5. Do more decent covers. 6. Write! (Haven't written in a looong time. For real.) 7. Get back on the DSLR and improve my photography skills. 8. Read alllllll the new books I've accumulated at home. 9. Reorganizing my room. It's time. No excuses, Jo. 10. Lastly, maybe I can go back to blogging properly :) On another note, I miss travelling, I really do. The feeling of being in a new place,  where you get to discover the culture and take in the sights and sounds. Can't wait for the next trip out. XX ciaoz.

So, the inevitable happened. I have always dreaded the day this would happen but more than anything, I'm amazed at my own reaction. I always thought that when this happened, I would be immensely sad and depressed. But no. God is good. Somehow, I don't feel anything. The only thing I feel is curiosity at this point. Curious about your 'opportunity', curious about your change in heart. Curious about you. But that's it. Amazing for someone who thought she had depression a couple of weeks ago. Anyways, at this juncture, I pray that I'll be able to let you have your space and time alone. And not suffocate you with concern. Amen. :) #GodIsGood.

Haha looks like I'll never have an absolutely empty holiday. Church camp had just passed and here I was, thinking I'll have many days to work on that disorganized room of mine. Turns out, lots of things were sent my way instead. Initially accepted for the Help World Mental Health Day musical as a dancer, I was considering quitting as I knew dancing wasn't exactly my forte. Who would have known, I came for the first day of practice and got to know that it wasn't going to be a musical anymore. It will be a play and song/dance performance instead. Wonderful! I could do what I was more comfortable with - singing. So here I am, really really excited to train and be introduced to the proper techniques of singing. Yeah, it was like super different. Even a little different from my previous choir training, but who cares? It's a totally new experience. I even get to learn to act, as the skills would be used in singing as well. Bringing the message of the song across wi

Sometimes I wonder why I get over-sensitive over things you say. And that only happens when I'm talking to you. I don't understand myself sometimes. Why do I get so had up over something you say that you probably don't even mean, or could have meant as a joke. I never take the things people say to me to heart. But with you, it's oh-so-different. Interesting eh? Amazing how one line could make my world spin out of control in the past, and cause me to feel like I'm getting a heart attack. But well I'd like to think of today as somewhat a success over my emotions . I managed to control myself. Even though just a tiny bit of tears might have leaked, I think I was above the waters today. haha, Najwa Mahiadin's Jealousy was so spot on. Oh well. On the whole, praise the Lord!

^ The title above refers to a poem with the same title that I wrote back in high school. After church camp, my mind was opened a little to the notion that maybe, just maybe, he isn't the right one. I guess the past two years, I have been so caught up with my feelings in this un-burstable bubble that I could not view the whole situation in a more sensible fashion. Indeed, I was waiting for the time that I could step back and look at my problem from the outside. Camp was my chance. I was far from my source of misery, closer to other people  in general. The chance I got to meet some other friends in the past weeks has also helped me a lot and I'm so very thankful to the Lord for sending all these marvellous people. I got to look at my situation from a totally different point of view. They might not know it, but talking to the two awesome Js was quite a big help and release. And then there was my Kor and my favourite siblings . Haha, that's why currently I'm an advo

Since my TOEFL exam is only about a month away, I think I really should start writing again as I'm getting really rusty. Especially since I've been improving my Chinese and mixing up every single language spoken in Malaysia in my daily convos. *sigh* Hear the sound of my spoken English going down the drain. LOL. I wonder what will become of me when I transfer next year. Anyway, the focus of this post is supposed to be my church camp experience and the post revelations. So yeah, I came to church camp with the attitude of wanting to be 'delivered'. I came wanting very much to hear what God had to say to me. And you know what, we were blessed with a totally different paradigm by the speaker. In most camps, the focus is very much on the more spiritual aspect of Christianity. But this time round, I received no 'comforting', 'sympathetic' message. Instead we were presented a very practical view which I believe has been slightly absent from our church.