josiechay's

Haha who knows, I might just be able to keep up with the editions this year.  I am somewhat on a mission to journal more often and give visible language to the things that go on in my head. I have this silent (ok not so silent) fear that one day I'll simply forget all my memories.  Maybe that's my one fear all along. I don't fear death, in fact I look forward to the day I get to go to heaven and be with the Lord 24/7. Maybe my fear is losing myself, not remembering my story, my journey.  It's so encouraging to know that every post in here matters and will continue to matter to me in the future. It's often times just crazy how the years pass and before I know it, what would've once been an insurmountable task, becomes pretty doable. In 2013, I was happy about doing well in Calculus. I would've never imagined actually working as an engineer in 2017. In the grand scheme of things, 4 years doesn't seem like a long time. And to give credit where it's due,

Haha I think it starting to become a pattern. Updating once a year. 2020 was a whirlwind but I'm thankful for all the moments both good and bad. It's funny how I always start off writing a more negative piece but towards the end, I somehow always change course and can't help but write positively.  Without further ado, saying bye to 2020 with this verse:  It Hurts To Be Human It hurts to be human  To be bound to feelings To have to decide everyday  Balancing on fine lines Struggling in uncertainty  To simply not know Being in the thick of conflict  Because words are often misheard Misunderstood, misrepresented.  It hurts to be human To live with expectations  When the default is mess And the constant, chaos Chaos in our feelings Turbulent in our thoughts Spiralling in worries Hurting in being human  Yet when there's hurt, there's also joy For every worry, there's an encouragement For every conflict, forgiveness It hurts to be human Yet remember Jesus endured and