a matter of thoughts

who knew the longkang looked so interesting?
@HCC, Even Land


the previous two nights were rather bothersome at the beginning. Yes, I'm talking bout' my sleep. I just couldn't sleep, especially Thursday night, in which I didn't really sleep at all. 


Yesterday, praise be to God, I could sleep after an hour or two and was given the luxury to sleep in this morning.


I suppose what I'm trying to say, is the reason behind the tossing and turning.


I have been thinking so much about things. Thinking to the point that those thoughts run like they're on tape recorder even if I'm trying to sleep. Closing my eyes don't help, they make images more vivid.


But last night, indeed I felt so much better after praying for other people. As I prayed for the peace of others, I guess I felt the peace too :)


***
Christchurch;NZ

On a different note, today was really the time for me to practice what I learned in the devotion from previous days.
Today I seriously learned what it meant to 'continue doing good even if you are punished/scolded wrongly, even if your intentions were good.'

And I felt so much better knowing I was strong enough to give in and just hold back and keep my cool even if I was wrongly scolded.

The world might think it's weak when one gives in and doesn't tell out what he thinks, but actually there's so much strength required in holding back and choosing to say the right thing when you feel like talking back.

There's so much strength in restraining oneself from making a snarky comment in the name of sarcasm. And replacing that with polite words in calm tones. 

***

but then again, frustration bites me to the point that I'm going berserk.

NOT giving up seems like a very hard thing to do.
affection/love.family. these two things basically.

Yet, in the Lord I will trust and continue to draw strength from.

***
my room; sakura curtains.

oh how i miss the openness in RBS.
it's like anything could be shared.
real matters of the heart.

even if I didn't shared it all,
it was beautiful seeing my friends take the risk
in being honest and sharing, truly from the depths of their heart.

Thank you mates. ;')
you've encouraged me to do the same.

<3

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