Pruning.

Pruning was probably a subject mentioned several times on a few different Sundays, but it only really made sense to me, today.

"Where does it hurt most?"
God is probably wanting to shape up that area. Take out the weeds, unearth the moldy growth.

Then I thought to myself, sometimes I'd rather be stuck, hurting, then change. Maybe I got too comfortable in the whole pity party game.

I guess it was probably a lesson though, the whole nerve problem-hand disabled thing. Previously, I did wonder to myself. I thought about how my life seemed fairly trouble-free in comparison to others. There wasn't something to make me cling to God. There wasn't a somewhat long-term predicament that would force me to lean on Him. People would say, why call on trouble when it wasn't present? Well, now I've got what I've asked for - a situation that would take maybe months to be resolved.

But I can say I'm still thankful. Given the circumstances, I realize that in desperation, you've only got God. Are you gonna rely on yourself, your own willpower to pull you through those dark nights? I tried, but of course that didn't work. It was through these few weeks of despair that I understood that no one could do anything for me, no one but Him. I'm re-learning how to be optimistic - an attitude I lost for awhile. But hey, I'm on the right track now.{ ;) }

That's that.

As for ze unresolved matters of the heart, honestly, I'm not sure.
I think I need to be more open with it. I think I need some unbiased opinions. I just wish He would literally show me what to do, what lies ahead. hmm..ohwell.
Some praying to do.

i.want.to.bloom.